Key Takeaways:

• Working mom guilt stems from unrealistic expectations and societal pressures but can be managed with the right strategies.

• Focusing on self-compassion, setting boundaries, and prioritizing quality time with your kids can help ease guilt.

• Therapy provides a safe space to process feelings and develop tools for a healthier work-life balance.

You’re a woman who prides herself on showing up for both her family and career with passion and purpose. But lately, it feels like the weight of trying to "do it all" is starting to crush you. Between the late-night emails, the half-finished school projects, and the constant scrolling through social media posts of “perfect” moms, guilt has crept in. You’re exhausted, second-guessing yourself, and wondering why it seems like everyone else has figured out the elusive work-life balance you’re craving.

The truth is, none of these working mothers have it all together, but acknowledging that doesn't always make the guilt magically go away. At the same time, it doesn't have to control your life. By learning how to reframe your mindset, set realistic expectations, and prioritize your values, you can work through that inner voice that's telling you you're not good enough and give yourself permission to live a life that feels aligned with what matters most to you: both at home and at work.

The tips I provide here will help you take the first steps toward that reality. And if trying to implement these on your own feels impossible, therapy can help. Here, I'll give some real examples of how you can actually overcome mom guilt for working and talk about the role of therapy so you can have the tools and confidence you need to navigate working motherhood.

Why is it so hard for moms to go back to work (or prioritize their careers at all)?

The feelings that come along with returning to work from maternity leave or being a working mom at any stage of motherhood run so much deeper than guilt alone. It's often fueled by both internal and external factors, and all of these layers can make it difficult to know how to confront the thoughts and emotions you're experiencing.

Here are some of the reasons why women often feel like a "bad mom" for focusing on their careers.

• Societal pressures: Society imposes an unrealistic expectation that mothers should prioritize caregiving above all else, even though fathers often aren’t held to the same standard.

• Intersectional challenges: Women of color, LGBTQ+ moms, or moms in low-income households may face added layers of guilt due to cultural expectations, workplace discrimination, or systemic inequities.

• Workplace demands: A lack of flexibility, unequal pay, or the “double burden” of managing a career while carrying the majority of household and parenting duties can add to the stress.

• Comparisons and social media: Seeing highlight reels of other moms can reinforce the belief that everyone else is handling things better.

• Internalized perfectionism: Holding yourself to unattainable standards and believing anything less than “doing it all” is failure can fuel negative self-talk.

• Lack of systemic support: From limited parental leave policies to inadequate childcare options, many moms operate within structures that make balance nearly impossible.

By recognizing these factors, you can begin to challenge the narratives fueling your guilt and focus on what truly matters to you. Now, let's explore actionable steps to help you break free from these pressures and focus on building a life that feels aligned with your values.

A therapist's guide on how to cope with working mom guilt

1. Reframe your thinking

2. Prioritize quality time over quantity

3. Delegate responsibilities

4. Set boundaries at work and home

5. Embrace imperfection

6. Seek support through therapy

7. Reflect on your core values

8. Build a support network

9. Incorporate mindfulness practices

10. Advocate for systemic change

11. Practice self-compassion

12. Redefine success

When to seek therapy for working mom guilt

These self-help tips sound great on paper, but we all know that actually starting to implement them can be much easier said than done. If you're feeling totally overwhelmed by the idea of making these changes or aren't sure where to start, it may be worth considering therapy as a first step.

While I'm a firm believer that anyone can benefit from therapy, here are some key signs that it may be especially prudent to prioritize your mental health:

• Chronic anxiety or stress: If you find yourself constantly worried that you're failing at work or as a parent, and these thoughts are taking over your day-to-day life.

• Burnout: Feeling emotionally and physically exhausted despite working hard, and unable to recover, even with time off.

• Strained relationships: If your guilt is starting to affect how you communicate with your partner, children, or colleagues, or if you're withdrawing from loved ones to avoid “failing” them.

• Loss of self-worth: When guilt makes you doubt your capabilities or feel like you're not enough, leading to a lack of confidence in both personal and professional aspects.

Keep in mind that you don't need to reach a breaking point to reach out for support. No matter where you're at in your journey of working motherhood, therapy offers a safe, judgment-free space where you can explore the root causes of your guilt and work through them with support.

A therapist can help you:

• Challenge unhelpful beliefs about what you “should” be doing and shift your perspective to one that prioritizes your well-being.

• Develop healthier coping mechanisms to manage stress and anxiety.

• Find strategies to improve communication and balance in your relationships.

• Reconnect with your values and goals, and identify what truly matters to you beyond societal pressures.

Therapy isn’t about adding more tasks to your to-do list (you're getting pulled in so many directions already!)—it’s about finding space to slow down, reflect, and identify actionable steps toward healing. No one should have to carry the weight of working mom guilt alone.

Final thoughts

Working mom guilt is a complex, often overwhelming experience that many women face. It’s important to remember that you’re not alone in feeling this way and that seeking support—whether through practical strategies, building community, or seeking therapy—can help you navigate these challenges with greater confidence and ease.

By recognizing the root causes of your guilt and taking steps to prioritize your well-being, you can integrate your career, family, and personal needs in a way that feels aligned with your values.

As a therapist specializing in helping women navigate work stress, anxiety, relationship concerns, and other challenges, I'm here to support you. So many of my clients question whether they're a "good" mom just because they're not the perfect stay-at-home mom they feel pressure to be.

I'm here to remind you that it is possible to live a life that feels authentic and fulfilling, no matter what that looks like to you. If you're curious to hear more about how therapy can help, I invite you to reach out.