7 Tips to Help You Manage Relocation Anxiety When Moving
Takeaway: Whether you’re moving for a “fun” reason or out of an obligation to work or family, it’s normal to have anxiety about moving to a new city or state. In this post, I shed some light on why you might be feeling this way and offer tips to help you cope.
Understanding relocation anxiety
If you're feeling anxious about moving, you're not alone. Moving is a big change, and it comes with lots of uncertainties that can be difficult to manage—especially if you're already prone to anxiety.
Learning more about relocation anxiety, including the common reasons behind moving anxiety and how it can manifest, can help you feel more in control. It can also be validating to know that other people struggle with this (and have overcome it).
Let's start by exploring some possible reasons why the moving process may contribute to feelings of anxiety.
Why does moving trigger my anxiety?
As you know firsthand, moving is a stressful time. Even a local move can be stressful with all of the logistics and emotions involved.
Here are some of the common reasons why moving might be triggering your anxiety.
Financial stressors. Moving house isn't cheap. There are many costs associated with moving, like buying boxes, renting a moving truck, potentially putting a down payment on a home, and more. Financial strain can add to your overall stress level, which may trigger feelings of anxiety.
Uncertainty and newness. Many people with anxiety have trouble tolerating uncertainty. All of the unknowns that come along with moving, such as starting a new job, having to make new friends, or uncertainty around whether you'll like your new location can be overwhelming.
Loss of familiarity. Even if you're excited to move, it can be nerve-wracking to leave behind what you know. Being far away from loved ones, leaving your job, and moving out of your house (often your physical comfort zone) can bring up feelings of grief and, yes, anxiety.
Social isolation. Leaving behind your social circle can be anxiety-provoking. While it's possible to foster fulfilling long-distance relationships, it still makes sense that you're nervous to be farther away from family members and old friends.
Pressure and expectations. You might also be facing both internal and external pressure around your move. If you're taking an exciting new job, you might feel like you "need" to be excited and happy. If you notice feelings you've labeled as "wrong," you might start to worry that there's something wrong with you—even though moving anxiety can be completely normal.
Keep in mind that this isn't an exhaustive list, and there is often more than one cause of any kind of anxiety.
Common signs of relocation anxiety
There are many ways that anxiety can affect a person's mental health and well-being. Here are some of the signs and symptoms that you might be struggling with anxiety about moving.
Difficulty concentrating
Avoiding things related to your move, like packing or looking for a new job
Feeling irritable or on edge
Trouble relaxing
Changes in appetite
Trouble falling asleep or staying asleep
Physical symptoms like headaches, stomach problems, muscle tension, and more
Relocation depression can also occur alongside moving anxiety. Some of the symptoms are similar while some may be different, so it's important to take stock of any changes to your mood, relationships, or mental and physical health.
7 tips to help you cope with anxiety about moving to a new city or state
It's normal to be nervous about moving to a new environment. At the same time, learning how to manage these intense emotions can help you take them in stride and avoid becoming too overwhelmed.
Here are some of my top suggestions for navigating the fear of moving to a new city.
1. Let yourself feel anxious.
You might be surprised that this strategy is first on the list. After all, you're looking to make your moving anxiety go away, right?
Unfortunately, trying to avoid feelings of anxiety only intensifies them over time. We need to confront our fears in order to calm this.
As an anxiety therapist, I do this using a technique called exposure response and prevention (ERP) therapy. However, you can start working on this at home, too.
When you notice feelings of anxiety pop up, take a few minutes to check in with yourself. Where do you feel the anxiety in your body? What is your anxiety trying to tell you? Instead of numbing or distracting yourself, challenge yourself to get curious about these difficult emotions.
2. Use stress management or relaxation techniques.
While I believe that it's essential to feel our feelings, I also recognize the need to regain emotional regulation, too. We can't be in the thick of our emotions all the time—it's just not realistic.
Growing your arsenal of self-care strategies is key. Try using formal relaxation techniques like progressive muscle relaxation or the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique.
You may also want to prioritize caring for yourself in ways that you already know work for you, whether that's a warm bath, starting your day with meditation or prayer, or taking a long walk after work.
3. Remind yourself of your "why."
When I help my therapy clients manage anxiety, a big part of our work is reconnecting to their values. Being reminded of our purpose or the "why" behind our actions can help motivate us to continue down our path, even if we hit some bumps (like anxiety) along the way.
If you're moving for a fun or exciting reason, it might be easy to access your "why." However, this technique can also be applied if you're moving for a sad or stressful reason.
For example, if you're moving back to your hometown to care for a sick parent, you may be reminded that you value family over everything else. Reminding yourself of this can help drive you forward even in the face of anxiety.
4. Focus on what you can control.
Like we talked about earlier, moving to a new town comes with lots of unknowns. You might worry if you'll be able to make new friends or adjust to a new life in a different location.
These are valid concerns because there's no way to know how everything will play out. At the same time, dwelling on these stressors isn't always helpful.
I recommend focusing on what you can control. For example, you might not be able to guarantee that you'll have a thriving social life within a month of your move, but you can do what's in your power to make that happen. Think: joining a book club, introducing yourself to your neighbors, etc.
5. Take care of your physical health.
Mental and physical health are closely linked. It can be easy to put your physical wellness on the back burner when navigating the stressful events of moving, but I encourage you to prioritize it when you can.
This doesn't need to mean going to the gym every day or eating healthy, home-cooked meals every night if that's not realistic for you. Instead, try to incorporate some gentle movement like walking or yoga, get enough sleep, and make sure you're eating regularly.
Being mindful of these simple habits can help support your overall well-being during this time.
6. Lean into social support.
When you're struggling with mental health symptoms, you might not feel like interacting with people. However, withdrawing from your loved ones may make you feel even worse.
Connecting regularly with family and friends during your move (even if it's over text) can give you the support you need to transition into this new chapter.
When you move to your new city, you may also be able to find local groups for other people who are new in town. Putting yourself out there is vulnerable, but you'll likely be glad that you did.
7. Consider working with a therapist.
Therapy can also be an important way to support your mental health if you're anxious about moving. Working with a therapist can help you build insight into the root causes of your anxiety and give you personalized strategies to cope with difficult emotions (including anxiety).
I provide anxiety counseling in Minnesota for women who are ready to put into the work toward feeling better. I offer in-person sessions at my office in St. Paul, but virtual sessions allow me to help people across the states of Minnesota, Wisconsin, and South Carolina.
My approach to therapy is hands-on, social justice-informed, and backed by research. You can learn more about me here or reach out to schedule a free consultation if you're ready to start the process. I look forward to meeting you!